I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
