i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
