Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
