Swine flu. Run for my life!
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
