is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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