...so i touched it.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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