dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
