Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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