he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
