if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
