4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
