I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm at about main and main street
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
