Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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