im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize