Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
