Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
