I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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