It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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