and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
