If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
