I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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