he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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