So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize