My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
