so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
