What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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