Plan B is the new Plan A
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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