If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I love having hate sex.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
being pregnant is like rehab
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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