I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
