That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dont lie about slip and slides
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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