Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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