from now on my penis is your penis
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
