Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
