So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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