Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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