I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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