Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
