hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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