What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
