Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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