Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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