Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
