My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
