he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
