the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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