Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Randomize
