I like my sex mixed with concussions.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize