I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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