my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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