Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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