some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize