You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's rum buckets o'clock
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
