We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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