she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
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My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
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She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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