I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
