Having a random hookup so left but love u
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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