I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
