dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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