Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
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Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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