Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
