I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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