You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
