you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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